Changes!

I woke up yesterday and decided it was time for a change. This is pretty much how my life works. Something pops in my head and I follow it out to the best of my abilities. Sometimes they are great ideas, some crazy, some near impossible, some short lived and some I am still perusing.

This specific change that came to mind yesterday is its time to let the Lightning go.

I've had it for 14 months now, and maybe MAYBE have driven it a total of 1,000 miles, which includes the 700 mile trip to bring it home. I have spent enough money getting it to run-and it does run right, now-finally. I am just tied of it sitting.

It was an impulse buy, I've wanted one for so long, got caught up with the Lightning guys back home, fell in love with these trucks years ago and always wanted one. Well I got one, was excited for a few months and then it kinda wore off.

Don't get me wrong I love the Lightning Community, some of the greatest car people I've ever met are Lightning owners. Even before I bought my truck they were all so friendly and helpful. Very welcoming, I can honestly say, there is not another greater group of Auto Enthusiast out there!

Now that my truck just sits, I don't really see the "need" for it, I don't have the desire to keep it. I am sure selling it will be tricky, to get what I want out of it and not take a total loss on it. But time will tell on it.

I know a lot of people are going to be sad, and not want to see it go. But its just time for me to move on, I don't want to replace it, I can honestly say I won't own another one. I wanted a 600+HP Truck and I got it, but I don't feel like I have the time for it. The meets are a blast to go to, but I can still do that with out actually having one.

I'm sure it goes deeper into my psyche- I'm never happy with anything I get. Funny & true, I thought I would be content with this for a while, but over the last 6-8 months I've really thought about putting it up for sale, I just hate the whole selling process. I am not in a rush to get rid of it. But I think having it sit around in a garage isn't what it was "built" to be, Someone needs to drive it, enjoy it, race it, romp around on it...that person just isn't me anymore. I do enjoy driving it and playing around with it, but I don't feel that "attachment" like I do to the Mustang.

I want a bike, I think I am at that point in my life where I crave change-well, that and I already have my motorcycle license, I've just been waiting for the "right time" to get one. I need to liquidate some of the cars I have now, before I add more. I am starting to be more practical and rational with my decisions, looks to be that I am growing up :)

Bottom line is it is a toy, and it is meant to be played with, and since I am not, it deserves more. I might miss the "Frightmare" later on, but now I think its time to let it go

As one Lightning owner leaves, a new one is welcomed. Its a beautiful circle :)

I Need an Intervention

This love for Boots has apparently exploded. I'd like to say I "can't" help it, but its more like I "don't want to" help it. Boots are cute, in style, very fall-ish. I am convinced I can wear them in summer-although truth be told its so hot here, you wear flip-flops, but at least I have the OPTION to wear them right? And come on, they will be in style next season, and the one after that, the one after that, and well now you get the point.

So, the "newest" additions are three beautiful pairs, if I do say so my self. I was out shopping for my Niece & Nephew and came across these tope Vera Wang boots, they remind me of motorcycle riding boots. They're edgy and flashy they have a bit of glam to them with a rhinestone like belt across the bottom. (Fear not- my fellow readers, I will post a picture of the line up)

Anyhow, while at the mall waiting for my Niece & Nephews stockings to get embroidered. They tell you to come back in thirty minuets, well what else do you do at the mall or thirty minuets??? You shop. I was on the hunt (yes-it really is a "hunt") for purple suede boots, but I can't ever seem to find them.

I did find a pair of purple flats, tried them on and too tight and of course they did not have the next size. I stumbled into Charlote Russe because Kendra always is sending me links to their boots-and she is like a hawk when it comes to that stuff. Ever have that friend? You mention to them something you're looking for and BAM they'll find it, or remember you mentioned it. <3 Her. Anyways, so I went in to look at the boots hoping they had purple, they did not. But it was Buy-One-Get-One-Half-Off. It doesn't hurt to look right? Well-except when looking turns into buying because, lets be honest, when does it not? Here's a bit of a back-story-I fell in love with these black, suede, over the knee, fold over boots, which you could convert to fold over and they tie off to the side, or wear the "flaps" over the knee. Kohl's had them, I found them in a 9.5 but I needed a 10, ugh, don't you hate that? I do! I had them look all over the US for them, called stores in other states my friends lived in, got Kendra the "hound/hawk" on it too. Nada. I was crushed. Well don't you know low-and-behold Charlotte Russe has the SAME boots, what? I was shocked, I did a triple-take. The heel was even the same size, which is nice, they're wear-able. AND they had the size I needed, I went with an 11 just to be on the safe side, SO excited that I found them, again. Although they're a little tight on the calf part, so I think they're legging/skirt only boots. Since it was BOGO I found these cute navy blue suede boots, the tops fold down and have a leather like texture to them. So cute & half off, I refused, to refuse. Although I did admit for the "intervention" right there at the register and I posted to Kendra on facebook "I need an intervention, as I am writing you I am in line at Charlotte Russe buying boots" Of course her prompt response was "I am a size 6" which is exactly the friends I need. Tell me not to buy boots, you will be removed from my circle of friends :) So, now lets review all of the boots I have. I like to call them "The Boots of Fall" Black Flat Suede Slouch-Payless Grey Flat Suede Slouch-Payless Black (low) Ankle Boots-Madden Girl Black Ankle Boots-Payless Brown Leather-ish Slouch-Kmart Black Suede Over-The-Knee-Sears Tope Calf "Riding"-Kohls Black 3-Way Suede-Charlotte RusseBlue Suede-Charlotte Russe Those are just the "additions" this season. I have a few in my closet too :)

Best Auntie EVER!

Yes, that is right, I am the BEST Auntie EVER, well to my Niece & Nephew that is :)

My Niece Caden is 19 months old and my Nephew is just barley over 1 month old. They live in Alaska with my Sister & her Husband. My Sister & Caden came out to Florida last August to spend some time with me, the timing couldn't be more needed, I was grieving and having that little baby girl and my Sister there, made it alright in those days to feel happy I went "home" last year because it was Caden's first Christmas and I had the time off. I wish I could make it back "home" this year for Parkers first Christmas.

It is crazy how much you can love a little one that isn't even yours. I love them both like they are mine. I know I will be in their lives forever, such a good feeling!

I always had to get Caden "Auntie" shirts, you know the ones that say, My Aunt is Awesome, My Aunt Rocks, All I want for Christmas is my Auntie. Well the tradition continues with Parker. I want them to know how much I love them, even if it is 2800 miles away!

I grew up an only child, and my Mom did SO much for me, that I want to be able to give that to someone, I'm not ready to be a Mommy yet, but I am ready to be an Auntie. I know they won't remember what I do for them now, but over the years they will be told, and I want a tradition to go with it. Like if every year I get them ornidements, or a Christmas movie, write them a letter. Something that I can keep consistent and fun.

Getting packages rock, no matter how old you are, but, being a kid and having a package come from someone else and have presents in it-that's one of the greatest things.

I just want to be the Aunt that I wish I had growing up, I want these kids to grow up and know that I am there for them, I care about them and love them so so much.

I know my Sister appreciates it, I am always thoughtful no matter what the occasion is. I'm sure she will do the same for me, when I have kids of my own.

Pics of course to follow, but I have to tell you (all of you) what I got them. Caden is my favorite to shop for, she's old enough to know what things are and to play with them. She LOVES Kitties, I call her Caden Kitty and then always say "Here Kitty Kitty" Even talking to her on the phone she lights up big huge smile and giggles. I got her a white kitty that looks real similar to her beloved "Taz" and you can pet the kitty and it purs, she is going to LOVE it!

I got her a "Big Sister" outfit, A Miami Dolphins outfit- Since my sister is a football fan they watch the Dolphin games too, Its a pink jersey, sooo cute. A few Auntie shirts, you know I have to remind them how awesome I am :)

More toys: A Tinkerbell play camera, tinkerbell play keys, Disney Princess bracelet set-which I am sure she is too young for but, its cute and I think she can handle it.

I did get both of them stockings-which I told my Sister NOT to get them stockings, with the exception of Peanut (Parker) because every baby needs a baby's first Christmas stocking. The stockings I got them are white and I got their names embroidered into them. I call Caden Boo & Parker Peanut, but I decided to leave it more of a timeless look. I just put "Caden" in red on hers and "Parker" in green in his. This way they can grow up with them and know Auntie Bee did this for them :)

For Peanut I went with just clothes, I mean, what else do you get for a baby?? He got a Dolphins outfit too, of course. Some really cute onesies and pants, the Auntie collection too (of course)

And I'm sure I am leaving things out, but pictures will show what I missed. I wasn't much into the Christmas spirit this year since I can't be "home" and I am still grieving the loss of my Mom :( But, shopping for them really brightened up my holidays. Thank you Boo & Peanut for making this season a little bit brighter.

Auntie Bee Loves you both!

Time to Say Good-bye

Which is my favorite Opera song, also applies to my life more than I think, sometimes.

There comes a time in your life when you outgrow things, your surrundings, friendships, lovers, family, career.


I believe I have reached that point in my life where I feel it necessary to move on. Cut my losses and pick up the pieces and go on. I can only put forth the effort for so long until it takes a toll on me. People always ask me why I continue to try when others would have just given up and walked away. My response is always the same "I want to know at the end of the day, I did everything I could." I want to know that when I walk away I gave that person every possible chance. I don't want to sell anyone short, let alone myself, and I am an all-or-nothing person, so when I am done. I am DONE. It applies to Friendship, Family, Relationships, sometimes its just time to let it go.

You can only put all of your heart & effort into something for so long until you grow tired of being the only one trying to make things work. I have a very kind heart, I believe in second changes (depending on the circumstances) but I do NOT believe in third and forth chances. Its the classic saying "Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice, shame on me"

I don't need closure, I've never been a "closure" type of person. I've never needed to be at someone else's mercy so I can move on. If you've never thought about it like that-you should. Isn't that how it is, You NEED someone to tell you something so you can move on. Such as: why a relationship failed, or an explanation of actions or of non-actions, an excuse, or even a reason. When you seek non-self closure you really are putting yourself at someone else's mercy, and for what? Closure isn't normally a "happy time" I don't believe it will make me a better person to hear what someone else has to say after ties have been severed. I do however believe in communication, through communication all things can be solved.

I seem to have one of those personalities that people are attracted to. Even when I've walked away people seem to come back. Its flattering at first, but those same old people bring back the same old issues. People never change, I honestly believe that. I believe we can grow into better versions of ourselves but we never change who we are. Why would we want to?

Life is about connection to me, as in the way I connect to people. The older I get the more I realize how important this is. I don't connect to everyone I meet the same, or sometimes, at all. I connect to different people on different levels. There are very few people that I have had an amazing connection with. Its hard to let go of those connections, but sometimes, its what is right.

I've always wanted to be a "better" person, and to me that is something I strive for, I'll never be "perfect" but I can always improve on things in my life. I know my limits and when to walk away with my head held high, those are qualities I learned from the greatest woman I've ever known, my Mother. Because of her I have the courage and strong-will to hold my head highly and walk away.

I Love Boots

I LOVE fall, and I do mean LOVE! Florida's fall is not exactly what I am used to since nothing changes colors or falls off-but I'll take the cooler weather. Oh and by cooler I still mean warm, the humidity dies down which is my favorite part of it, and its so beautiful outside all the time!

Fall means boots! Or-at least it does to me, I LOVE boots (yes, Just like I love fall) I just got back from a trip back home to Colorado and I was on the hunt for the "Perfect Boots" which I managed to find. They are black suede over-the-knee boots with a heel. They are absolutely gorgeous-except they hurt like hell to walk far in. I need to break them in a little bit more. I did come to find out I needed a pair of flats while I was home, so I ended up at payless the morning of the funeral buying a pair of black suede flat boots to get me through the day. They were $40 and I was a little hesitant that ANY boot at payless should be over $30 but none the less I needed them, I liked them and they had them in my size. I absolutely LOVE those flat boots, while they are not as "stylish" as my over-the-knee-boots, they are so comfortable!

Yesterday I went to payless again since it is Buy-One-Get-One half priced. I needed some black flats for work. I found my flats, they would be $8 wooooo! I also found the same boots I already had but in grey, I love grey, its the timeless classic. They had my size too, and now, they'd only be $20 with the BOGO, this means I need another pair of shoes to keep my work shoes at $8. I found a mid ankle black boot that would be cute with jeans. I need to start dressing up I thought to myself. I seem to have fallen into the "tennis shoe" phase of my life. Anyways, those ones were only $30 (what I think ALL boots there should be)

Went out to lunch with Roommie and went shopping with her, I found the cutest pair of black Madden Girl by Steve Madden ankle boots for $20 at ross, that never happens, I never find cute shoes there, and that are comfortable? Bonus! I wore them to work today to test them out. They passed, and look super cute with jeans!

So to recap it for all of you I now have 6 new pairs of boots for fall! All but one of them in black! hahahaha

Pep In Your Step

What is it, exactly about heels that gives you that extra little "umph" of confidence. Its like we have this form of "alter-ego" in us that emerges with each step-or at least that's how I feel. You feel more confident. Isn't that crazy, one pair of shoes can essentially change how you act or are perceived. I wouldn't go as far as to say "one pair of shoes will change your life" but I've heard that saying before,

I've noticed a lot of heels, I am a woman, I am naturally attracted to shoes, hand-bags and accesories, and also how they are worn in conjunction to the outfit. I've also seen the women who:
- Can't walk in heels
-Have TOO high of heels on
-Drunkenly are still walking in heels, but more so on the side of the shoe
-Wear stripper heels*


*Stripper heels are perfectly okay in the confined spaces known as Strip-Clubs, outside there, not so much

Have you ever noticed when you put on a pair of heels that you become an alter ego? If you didn't I bet the next time you put on a pair you'll surely think about it. I know I can't be the only one who steps into an "alter ego" when a pair of stilettos or boots in my case :)

Back To School!!!

Back To School!


Finally! I’ve made the plunge, well, in the process of taking the plunge! Getting my ducks in a row to start school. I’ve always wanted to go back and get my degree; I’ve always just lacked the drive to do so. What made me finally do it you ask? Well work has a pre-paid tuition program, which is free money for school. I figured I might as well take advantage of it while I can. I’ve never seen any employers that offer a pre-pay option. I’m jumping on it, that oh, and it makes me HAVE to stay at work, haha!

I took the first few steps already, I’ve applied to school, picked out my degree plan and now I just have to submit my classes to work, take a placement test and get my transcripts, which hopefully by the time I post this blog I already faxed it back to Colorado!!

I know I can do this, I’ve proven to myself I can do anything I set my mind to, hell, I moved 1800 miles way to start a new chapter of my life. I am a little worried with my time management, which if you’ve read any of my blogs you know I’m not such a Rock Star in that department, but hey-I’m working on it.

I always seem to get into the situations where I don’t have a choice on what to do; I just have to do it, since that is the only option. I am putting myself in this situation because I know I need it, I have the time, I don’t have to pay for it, and I don’t have anyone in my life that requires all or most of my time, so why not now?

I want to bust my ass and get my bachelors in 3 years. I have a plan (remember I need a plan, NEED.A.PLAN) I decided its best for me to break it up year by year, or more like 2 years by 2 years. Going for my Associates first, then going to transfer for my Bachelors. I like the “stepping stone” idea, that way if something happens 2 years in and I have to stop, at least I have that degree to build on. Although, I’m pretty confident that I am going to finish completely.

I mean, what’s 3 years? I look back now, and have no idea where the last 6 years of my life have gone. I feel like I’ve spent so much time focusing on everyone else, it’s my turn to focus on me, and do this for myself! Its not going to be easy and I sure wont have much time since I’ll be working full time and going to school full time, but if I can get it all done in 3 years then it’ll be worth it. I’ve come to grips with the fact I will have zero time for a life, ha!

I feel like I am finally ready to settle down with it and focus on it, this is what I want to do with the rest of my life and I need to put in the work to get it done. I decided on a Communications degree, hard choice and we all know I have commitment issues when it comes to big decisions (and hell, small ones too-look! I can’t even commit to what I am saying, ha!) I’ve been in the Communications field for the last 5 years; I seem to stick to it and most of the time I enjoy it.

I want to enjoy going to school and really want to do something in a field I enjoy and will enjoy. Nothing worse than spending time and money going to school to get a degree in a field I won’t use! Like all of those Psychology majors, While it’s an awesome program, what do you people plan on doing with your lives?

Do we really need a bunch of Psychologists? That field is flooded as is now, can you imagine in another 10 years? Eek! Seems like so many fields are over saturated, I’m hoping mine isn’t!


Wish me luck :)

Routines are so, uh, Routine??

These Days…

I can’t seem to manage my time! I went from having all the time in the world to working which means, not having enough time to complete my “to do list” for the day. On top of adjusting to my new schedule and lack of time management, I am going to try-scratch that, I am going to actually go back to school in the fall. Slightly scared since I can’t manage to accomplish my tasks now with just working full time. It’s a double edged sword, I need to go to school to get my degree but I have to give up my time to do it, which should be fine, I really don’t do much of anything out side of work these days anyways!

I’m sure it’s just an adjustment that I need to make, fall into my routine, which oddly enough, I’ve never been good at having a “routine.” I suppose it goes into the whole idea that I don’t always do the same thing each day at the same time. For example: Some mornings I eat breakfast at home, others I eat in the car, and the rest of the time I end up eating at work. I am just not a “routine” person, I wish I was for the sake of time management. I always try to plan out my time (in my head) and while it always works there, it never does when I try to apply it.

Case in point: I have this wonderful idea that since I work at 10am (soon to be 11 am) that I can get up earlier and start running and make a habit of it and get into a “routine” to do so. I feel if I do it every day I’ll feel accomplished. Which I think falls into my whole “commitment issue-saga” Anyhow, this never happens. I blame what I like to call the “Sleep Monster” I can get up let my pups out just fine, but then “Sleep Monster” takes over and I go back to bed until its time to get up and get ready.

I do however believe that the “Sleep Monster” and “Marshmellow Bed” might just be one in the same. That bed ROCKS! I sleep so well in it. Love. That. Bed.

So having a “routine” to me is the same as “vanilla ice cream” while it’s the “safe” choice and will always be there, it becomes mundane, oh, well that and I can’t ever get out of bed on time, therefor making a routine would make me late. I hate to be late, I hate when other people are late more so than if I am late, but still, it bothers me. I can see running late on occasion but, UGH! It especially bothers me when there is a deadline involved like a movie time, a play, dinner reservations or an airplane!! Times are not suggestive, at leaast I don’t find them to be.

Which leads me into another topic: Plans! I have to have a plan, I mean I HAVE TO HAVE a plan. I can’t always remember being this way, and don’t get it twisted, I am still carefree and up for whatever and can go with the flow, easy going type of gal, you know? But I’ve realised when it comes to other people plans are a definite must have for me. I never have to have a plan for myself as to what I am going to do on a “leisurly” day, but if it involves another person or several, I need a plan, times, places, ect. Because, I’ve found it’s really hard to people to keep their word and relying on others gets old very quick. More times than not I’ve had “plans” and things happen, I get that, but when it’s the same people all the time, you tend to get a good sense of how reliable or not so reliable they are.

Chalk-Walk!

I've been wanting to check out a "Chalk-Walk" for quite some time now. There just happened to be one going on in Hyde Park, which is this historic district of Tampa. It is very cute, reminds me a lot of the neighborhoods in Denver. I like to be reminded of home <3 It was hot out, its Florida, its always hot out!

I am amazed at how well an artist can transform a canvas, even if its not an actual "canvas" It was a beautiful thing to take in, they had areas for the kiddos to draw on the side walk as well. Well on to the show, here are a few shots I liked!

                  


There was a grey hound rescue too, they looked hot, I snapped a picture of one of the dogs, and then came across a puppy at a vendor tent who was too cute to not play with. He is 10 weeks old and was wearing a Ray's hat. It was almost impossible to get him to wear it right, so he now looks like french puppy, Still adorable

                                     

Get Low...Get Low??

I think it’s time for a new bed frame, I bought a new bed back in November and I am still very pleased with it. In fact, I struggle to get out of it since it is so comfy. It's been named the "Marshmallow Bed" and from that name, who would even want to get out of it?

The bed frame I have is wood and the hinges need to be replaced and it’s not supporting the bed the way I would like it to. So it’s time to upgrade. I've always loved the headboards with the leather padding. They are so elegant! I don't want to pay $600 for a bed frame so I've been looking into my options.

What I am coming across is a bunch of platform beds. It’s like wild fire; they are ALL over the damn place. I don't want to roll out of bed I want to be up a significant amount higher, plus I really love storing my shoes under my bed. I have a mattress and a box spring, platform beds are mattress only! Who likes sleeping that low to the floor? Do you feel more aero dynamic while you're down there? If that is the case I suggest you get a race-car bed, at least that way, you can FEEL like you are getting the whole experience.

TheFriend (from previous blogs) wants one, I don't get it, and he is a big guy. I suppose it likes the look of it, but wouldn't it suck to struggle to get up and physically out of bed? Or is that just me?

Tyler said he could build me a frame for a significant amount less, but I don't know if he'll be able to get the design I want. There is no doubt he's talented with his hands and quite the handy man around his house. He built Heather a beautiful deck. But all of the head boards I like have some intricate design.

I’ve looked on craigslist, I found this really intricate headboard but it’s pricy, and it’s just the head board.  I have also checked online at the furniture stores here and nothing really catches my eye. Checked overstock too, since shipping is $2.95 and I hate to pay shipping on anything. I found a few I like, but they’re brown leather,  I favor black & they’re about the $500 range again. Ugh!!

Tunes!

Side Note: Brooke read Tunes not Tones K?

 I love music, I always have but I think I appreciate it more as I go through different things in my life. I am always open to new things, new styles and I really love when I can relate to the song or it fits that moment in my life. It’s amazing how that happens, the moment you're happy, sad, alone, excited, whatever it is, and the perfect song comes on the radio it just fits, you know?

 I’ve been through a lot and I am not ready to put it out there for the world to read. But I will tell you that I feel I heal sometimes even if it’s just a little bit from a song. Isn't that amazing? Words that are written can touch you so much. Relate to your life, define your best/worst moments and let you have an outlet for whatever you need it for. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, sometimes I scream the lyrics as loud as I can. It’s all just a part of my heart trying to find a way to heal.

 It really is a big part of who I am. I bought a painting in the beginning of the year while in Vegas. It is four guitars, it is beautiful and it spoke to me. I do not play guitar, although I do have the desire to learn. But I am touched by music and wanted to appreciate this beautiful piece of art in my home. It reminds me that someone out there understands me, my feelings, and my thoughts and expressed themselves through music. That right there is just beautiful to me.

This all came to me tonight, as I was watching my DVR'd One Tree Hill, which I love that show...go ahead and laugh that I watch it, I'll wait. Done? K, they have some great music on it. I always find myself going to the website and checking who it was. Most of the time its people I've never heard of, but I like that one song so I check out the whole album. I don't want to miss out on anything in life, and exploring music is a BIG realm!

I was just telling Brooke today after our work out we need to go to the Dueling Piano bar in Tampa, Howl At The Moon. I went in Orlando a few weeks ago and I love it. There is a place in Denver, Sing Sing, that I just love too. I love live music and there isn't anything better than some good friends, drinks and some great live music.

  I find that now I am a Music junkie, I blame Rebecca & Justin; ever since I went to Texas and was sent home with some 40 gigs of music...it just started the process! My poor little 30 gig iPod is overloaded. Thanks guys!

 

Commitment Issues

I think I have commitment issues. How funny is that statement? I can’t even commit to admitting I have commitment issues?

I don’t mean relationships, I don’t seem to have a problem committing to the wrong men at all and I am a pro at that  I have however backed off from dating for the time being so I can actually focus on what it is I want. That being said, if something comes up such as it does in life, I’ll roll with it from there. I know what I want in the long-run, but I’m not in a rush to get there.
I have an issue committing to a career, a life style adjustment, goals, routines, ECT. Clearly, it must be fear, right? I mean, why else are people afraid to commit? I feel like I can’t finish anything I start to do!

I don’t know what I want to do with my life; I am now 26 and feel like I should have a clue. I do not! I want to make a difference in people’s life, or at least at this point that is what I want. I want some sort of satisfaction out of a career. I’ve thought about being a police officer, but when it comes down to it, I just don’t think I am tough enough for that. No matter what I do, it requires me to go back to school. Which I’ve put off for the last eight years because I didn’t want to waste time and money since I didn’t have any idea what I wanted to go for.

With all I’ve been through I’ve always considered being a nurse. I worry that I will be desensitized to people and emotion after time. They deal with so much in the course of their careers; I don’t want to have that take a toll on the person I am. I do however want to make a difference and help people; it might be a way for me to heal a little bit more. Again, I am just not sure. It’s at least a two year commitment to schooling so I want to make SURE that this is what I want to do.

I’d like to actually start something and finish it, whatever it might be, even if it’s just something simple. I don’t know if I just get bored or if I get too busy starting other new things that the previous things get swept under the rug.
I have a lot of books that I’ve wanted to read and I keep putting them on the shelf. They aren’t going to read themselves, right? There are several I need to read, for my own well being on how to cope with the things I am going through. Or the ones that make me believe in love stories, or photography books to expand my knowledge to become a better photographer. Reading more is definitely on my list of things to do and complete.

I want to be happy in life, love & whatever else I do. I don’t feel happy. I am not happy with certain aspects of myself and I really need to commit to making a change. I would love to eat healthier and get back in shape. I feel like if I changed that aspect of myself I would be happier. I think about it all the time, I start changing my lifestyle and before I know it I am back at square one.

I know I am the only one that can make any self-improvements and it starts with me. That being said, Brooke and I have vowed to start an intense workout routine. There is a gym by her place that has a great personal trainer, he’s very cost efficient and is there six days a week. I want to feel better; I want to look better, for myself. Of course I was told “If someone loves you, they love you the way you are” and while I agree, I’m not sure I love me. I love the person I am, but I don’t love how I look.

So, back on track….We are starting tonight. I want to try to make it six days a week for at least two months. I know I can’t commit to that right away with my issues. I am going to commit to it one week at a time. I like the feeling I get from working out, the issue is the next day when I am sore I give my body too much “recovery time” and end up not going back. Or I don’t see the results soon enough. I don’t have the issue putting in the work, I just like the instant satisfaction. Which of course you don’t get right away with working out! I figured if Brooke and I have each other it will be easier to have someone else motivate me as well.

Hell, I might even start another blog on my progress! I’m going to try to work out my life, one commitment issue at a time. Work out here I come 

The Frightmare Update!

Which is what I've named the Lightning, Friend of mine called it the "Frightning" since he thinks its fast. I call it a Nightmare since it is, and together you get "Frightmare" If it’s not one thing with this damn truck it is another. It's been down now for a month or so, I need ANOTHER new intercooler pump since my new one (replaced in January) is now shot.

Ugh, the "idea" of having a 600+ rwhp truck is far more satisfying than actually having a 600+ rwhp truck.

I missed a race day that I pre-paid for since the truck isn't cooling which in turn is taking the timing out of my truck. For you non-car related people that is bad news and can lead to bad things, including a blown motor. I really don't want to sink money into a motor so I have to baby it.

I ordered a new pump 4/5 and it is still back ordered, I need to cancel the order and order it from another company who has it in stock so I can at least enjoy my Frightmare a little bit. I ordered a marine-style pump since it flows more water to the heat exchanger.

The bad news is that when I took it to the shop in January they told me they replaced all the lines from the reservoir in the truck bed to the heat exchanger. Yea, not so much, they replaced it to the pump and the rest is all old tubing. This is causing problems too since its looping and running through old hoses. The other issue is the reservoir holds less than a gallon of water, and if it drops below maybe two inches in the tank, I will get air in my system which is causing the pump to fail. Since this truck was built a few years back, the technology and everything has changed, there are now better reservoir tanks, or modded fuel cells to hold more water. There are better hose options & pump options.

I know it’s a minor thing, and could be way worse; the shop has gotten wind that I am upset and called to see how they could rectify the issue. I haven't called them back since I am still waiting on parts and had company in town for the last two weeks. I'm a sitting suck until I can at least get my hands on a pump. I do need to call the shop and express my concerns since I don't feel I got what I paid for.

I paid to have my gauges put in, truck to be tuned, new fuel pumps (2) new hoses & new intercooler pump. My gauges weren’t installed correctly, I am missing a boost sensor, and my fuel pressure isn't reading correctly. The power wasn't run to the gauge so it wasn't even reading fuel pressure. I am replacing another pump due to several reasons, but I am upset the hoses weren’t replaced from the heat exchanger back to the pump! Grrrrr.

I just have no desire to to anything to it right now, I ordered new black grilles for it, I haven't put them in yet since it has other issues.

This thing better run like a champ for a long time, or it needs to find itself a new home!

I find it funny I tag this as "I Wanna Go Fast" because I do, but apparently the "Frightmare" has other intentions!

Roses are Yellow & Pink!

Like you didn't know that! But-what you didn't know is these aren't any roses! They are roses on my new shoes!! Please excuse the photo quality-they were shot with my blackberry!

I love stilettos, LOVE them, unfortunately I hate walking in them. I wish they were more comfortable for me but they're not :( That being said, I do love wedges, which is just what I came across at Sears last week.

I know what you're thinking...Sears? Really? YES!!! I was sold on the Yellow ones, I don't think I have enough "Bold" accessories in my wardrobe. I just bought a cute navy summer dress and I thought these yellow shoes would pair perfectly with the outfit. I was a little unsure of the rose accent on them, but it is a take-it or leave-it feature since its stuck on the shoe! Believe me, I checked to see if it could be removed. No-go!

I tried them on, they were cute and I adored them. But, what kinda woman would I be without consenting others? Haha, I shot a picture text to Hubby, Kendra & Brooke. Hubby loves any high-heel I pick out, so he was in. Kendra wanted a pair for herself, so she was in & Brooke thought they were hot. Heather who was with me at the time liked them but wasn't sold on the rose, and couldn't picture them with an outfit.

The best part? They were only $15, I couldn't pass that up! I got them in Yellow & Pink, they had a Black, but it wasn't in my size, of course. They're not too bad to wear out either! Went out to dinner with Heather & Tyler for dinner and wore the outfit so she could get a feel for it, she loved the look!

Now to find an outfit to rock the pink ones with, hmmmmm...

Take a Ride on the Wild Side

Seems like everyone has one these days, or just bought one (Becca&Justin) I'm not complaining since I get to pal around in them, what is there to complain about? Today was one of those days I was able to let my hair down, crank up the music and laugh as loud as I wanted to while Brooke and I took her "lil red" out for a spin around Tampa. We of course took it for a spin up to Gainesville yesterday too, I apparently got a little too much sun, but it was worth the ride. We rode "topless" (with the top down) all the way up there. On the way back it was WAY TOO HOT to do it again, so we caved and put on the air, made for a much cooler ride!

I've had several friends over the years who have owned convertibles, and I have enjoyed them. But, I find living here I enjoy them more than I have previously. Granted there are days where it is just TOO humid to even walk outside, let alone roll around town with the top down. On the days where it’s bearable, it’s worth it. Well, minus the sun burn that can/will happen.

It’s like something magical. I'll never forget a picture message I got from a very dear friend of mine on his way to California for a trip. The picture was of the sky, all you could see was stars and he said "Wish you were here." While I never had the feeling he did on that night, I could only imagine how beautiful it was. I had that same feeling a few weeks ago coming back from Orlando in Heather's Mustang 'vert, I just happened to look up at the sky and I had that "magical" feeling he told me about. That text flashed back in my mind, and we're talking a text from almost four years ago. It’s amazing what the mind chooses to hold on to :) I told him about it and he told me "now you finally understand, it is something magical" he was right. In that moment it was just breath-taking. I love being caught up in those moments, where nothing matters, I try to savor all of them!

I've never considered myself a convertible-gal, I always considered myself a coupe-gal. I like things that match and I didn't care much for a Grey Mustang with a Black Top (at the time) But, after having several friends here have them, I've learned to appreciate the wilder side to convertibles. I would love to own one at some point in my life. The wild hair blowing in the wind, loud music, all of the attention that goes with owning one....it’s all a part of the experience. But for now, I am a convertible-loving-gal who is confined to a beautiful coupe :)

Wine Down Saturday!

I heart wine. I think I am more of an avid "collector" than "drinker" but I like it anyways.

Heather & I went to the Lake ridge Winery two weekends ago. They were having a blues festival and it gave us a chance to spend some girl time and take a ride in her Mustang Convertible. Which I must admit I love, I have never been a vert girl, still unsure if I want to own one, but I enjoy the hell out of hers when I can.

The trip took about an hour and we had a blast singing loud and laughing our asses off on the way there.

We get there, do some tastings and their wine was pretty good. I am a strictly sweet-wine lover I don't care for dry or even semi-dry uck! My friend Chelsea back home says I drink grape juice since I like it so sweet, she's right I do.

Heather had never been to a wine tasting, so it was a fun experience to be there with her. We tried 9 wines out of those I like I liked 4. They had a "Buy one case, get one FREE" deal going on, which really is a STEAL. 2 cases of wine for the price of 1! I of course bought 2 cases, one strictly of the sweet white, then the other one I split up, 6 bottles of sparkling white wine, and 6 bottles of red. The red you can turn into Sangria, and since I LOVE Sangria I had to get some red 

They use the Muscat grape for their wines, I am a big fan of the Moscatto grape, but I enjoy the Muscat grape it’s just not as sweet. They also had actual Muscat grape juice; I bought a few cases of that. Tried it last night again, whoa, its sweet!

Heather really seemed to enjoy herself, and it’s always nice to spend time with someone you can laugh with. Thanks for going Heather!

Wild, Wild Key West!

I took a trip down to Key West this past weekend to get out and see more of Sunny Florida and just experience what it had to offer. Like most of my recent vacations the company was the downfall of the vacation but I didn't let that stop me from relaxing, enjoying myself, and turning off my mind to just take it all in!

The drive is about seven hours from where I live in Florida. Once you get to the "Keys" part of it, it is beautiful. It is so tropical and the water is so green/blue I fell in love with it. Key West is of course the last Key and the Southern Most Point in the US.

All I could do was say "It's SO Pretty" because it really is! There is a ton of fun to be had there. Duvall Street is where all of the bars, clubs & shops are. Key West is a very open place, very gay-lesbian friendly which I didn't mind, I am open to that (for others, not for myself) The biggest thing I noticed while walking Duvall Street is there is so much Love there. I know it is paradise, what's not to love there? People are in love, they are in vacation; they are all so friendly and laid back. You can talk to anyone with ease. The view from any part of the island is just breath taking.

We got in Saturday about 7, met up with a "friend" (hind side, should have skipped this part) went to dinner alongside the dock. I love sea food so I try to eat it as much as I can. I had a sea bass with a key lime sauce over it. It was excellent :) From there we hit up a few bars, everything from a strip-club to an Irish pub, which has to be my favorite. They had live music, and it was Irish, how do you not love that? On top of that I did a few key lime shots; they rocked & stumbled onto my new drink. Absolute Berryaci & 7-up it was delicious!

The bars close about 3, some seem to stay open later. I wanted to go to the beach, the company I was with didn't. So I left them, headed to the pier laid on the pier looking up at the stars with a warm wind breezing across the water & of course listening to the wave’s crash. It was beautiful, I got lost in the moment for some time. This is what life is about, taking a moment out to reflect and just enjoy the serenity of this. I made a phone call to someone back home and had a great conversation, I couldn't have asked for the night to end any better than it did <3

Sunday I needed to get out and be on the water, I am a water person anyways. I signed up for a Jet-ski tour. I was a little worried this was going to be slow and boring and in a tow-rope sort of fashion. WOW! I was wrong. I was the first one there for the tour, so I was ready to go; of course we waited on the rest of the people.

Leaving the dock you enter into a channel and you have to gun it or your ski will hit the bottom, its maybe two feet deep if that. As soon as I did I saw all of the water and some of the island, and fell in love I loved life that day, that feeling if "awe" is just amazing. We got to tour the island, 30 miles of it. It was great. I went full speed all the time, kept up, never fell off. We stopped by the Navy base in the sand bar to walk around, got back on the skis. Stopped again in the middle of the ocean and we all jumped off the skis and went for a swim. The water was amazing, so warm and beautiful.

The adventure continued on, we went to a cove they call Dolphin Cove and sure enough there were dolphins along side of us, right by my Jet ski, I could just about reach out and touch them, they were about a foot away, it was so amazing, our ski's were just on idle not to scare them, but they were beautiful. I've seen dolphins from a beach, but never that close.

We toured this bay that the military used to sink helicopters and submarines back in the 60's to hide them. They are now being used as reefs. It’s a local spot where people go to Jet Ski and have parties, it’s beautiful. About this time I was convinced I am moving to Key West!

The water got really rough between 3-4 foot waves, and it was fun as hell, slippery and rough but FUN! I was still full speed. The Tour guide called me Speedy the entire time. I can't help it, I like anything fast; cars, trucks, bikes, jet-skis, whatever it is!

The tour of course had to come to an end, and I was crushed, I will always do that tour when I come back, it was well worth the money and I had a blast.

Last night in Key West, I went out to the docks and was looking at Christmas Tree Island and Sunset Island. It was pretty, but cloudy. Nice to see regardless. From there I walked Duvall Street again, went shopping. They have the ORIGINAL Margaritaville there, I love original stuff! They had a few bars playing live music so I stopped into one called "Big Uns" haha! Met the bartender who was Irish and super nice & just enjoyed the evening solo.

Poured myself into bed about 6 am and was up at 10 to get ready to head out, stopped by the Southern Most Point & the AIDS Pier just to take one last look at the water. Key West I will miss you, but I promise I will return very very soon.

I fell in love with Key West, I can't wait to go back, I think it’s one of my favorite places, it’s a 7 hour drive, but well worth it! I can take a ferry there but I have to leave my car at the dock, which might be the option for the next trip. Aside from the drama that the company caused, I had a fantastic time. I've learned not to let others ruin a good thing for you, I did what I would have done anyways, enjoyed my time!

Stamps...The NEW way to express yourself!

I have a strong Love/Hate relationship with the post office. I love to get mail (not bills of course) and packages. I HATE going to the post office to mail anything or pick up anything. It always takes forever, people are so indecisive on when they want to send whatever they're sending and how long it will take. Ugh!

Oh and if that wasn't bad enough, you wait FOREVER sometimes!

Anyways, I had to venture off to pick up a package and to send one out. I killed two birds with one stone! Yay!

While waiting in line to both pick up/drop off packages I saw an advertisement..If you will, for stamps. Shocking right? Well it was! Now you can get your stamps with your pet’s pictures on them. I laughed to myself, Really? Pets on stamps? I know people love their pets, I know I love mine, I even have photos in my house of them, hell, I talk to them like they're people (they are dogs, I am not the cat lady) BUT...on a stamp?

So I got to thinking, I don't care about stamps when I get a letter. I like the Christmas ones because that is fun, its Christmas after all. But other than that I don't care if they're hearts, flowers, trees, flags, celebrities, I am just excited to get the letter or card that was sent. I have to admit I almost never look at the postage anyways, that part gets filed in the trash can and I enjoy whatever was put in the envelope.

I know this will sound like a slight contradiction-but hell it’s my blog! I love the personalized picture stamps, I find it adorable when couples send out wedding announcements & invitations and the stamp is a beautiful picture of them in love & happy <3 That is the only time I think it is cute. The rest of the time I don't pay much attention. Seems like if I buy the "cute" or "fashionable" stamps that the rates change, and now I have to buy another stamp to travel alongside that one. Ugh!

I am a big fan of the "forever" stamp. No matter what postage is, that little bad boy will take care of it and get my letter to its destination!

The post office wasn't bad today. Got to pick up my package which made my day, someone spent a lot of time to send me a "happy thoughts" book to cheer me up since life hasn't been so peachy lately. I cried from the sentiment. I love hand made things. I have amazing friends, I feel blessed to live so far away and feel so cared about!

I sent off a "surprise" package since I think those are the best to someone special in my life. We'll see how they like it :)