Best Auntie EVER!

Yes, that is right, I am the BEST Auntie EVER, well to my Niece & Nephew that is :)

My Niece Caden is 19 months old and my Nephew is just barley over 1 month old. They live in Alaska with my Sister & her Husband. My Sister & Caden came out to Florida last August to spend some time with me, the timing couldn't be more needed, I was grieving and having that little baby girl and my Sister there, made it alright in those days to feel happy I went "home" last year because it was Caden's first Christmas and I had the time off. I wish I could make it back "home" this year for Parkers first Christmas.

It is crazy how much you can love a little one that isn't even yours. I love them both like they are mine. I know I will be in their lives forever, such a good feeling!

I always had to get Caden "Auntie" shirts, you know the ones that say, My Aunt is Awesome, My Aunt Rocks, All I want for Christmas is my Auntie. Well the tradition continues with Parker. I want them to know how much I love them, even if it is 2800 miles away!

I grew up an only child, and my Mom did SO much for me, that I want to be able to give that to someone, I'm not ready to be a Mommy yet, but I am ready to be an Auntie. I know they won't remember what I do for them now, but over the years they will be told, and I want a tradition to go with it. Like if every year I get them ornidements, or a Christmas movie, write them a letter. Something that I can keep consistent and fun.

Getting packages rock, no matter how old you are, but, being a kid and having a package come from someone else and have presents in it-that's one of the greatest things.

I just want to be the Aunt that I wish I had growing up, I want these kids to grow up and know that I am there for them, I care about them and love them so so much.

I know my Sister appreciates it, I am always thoughtful no matter what the occasion is. I'm sure she will do the same for me, when I have kids of my own.

Pics of course to follow, but I have to tell you (all of you) what I got them. Caden is my favorite to shop for, she's old enough to know what things are and to play with them. She LOVES Kitties, I call her Caden Kitty and then always say "Here Kitty Kitty" Even talking to her on the phone she lights up big huge smile and giggles. I got her a white kitty that looks real similar to her beloved "Taz" and you can pet the kitty and it purs, she is going to LOVE it!

I got her a "Big Sister" outfit, A Miami Dolphins outfit- Since my sister is a football fan they watch the Dolphin games too, Its a pink jersey, sooo cute. A few Auntie shirts, you know I have to remind them how awesome I am :)

More toys: A Tinkerbell play camera, tinkerbell play keys, Disney Princess bracelet set-which I am sure she is too young for but, its cute and I think she can handle it.

I did get both of them stockings-which I told my Sister NOT to get them stockings, with the exception of Peanut (Parker) because every baby needs a baby's first Christmas stocking. The stockings I got them are white and I got their names embroidered into them. I call Caden Boo & Parker Peanut, but I decided to leave it more of a timeless look. I just put "Caden" in red on hers and "Parker" in green in his. This way they can grow up with them and know Auntie Bee did this for them :)

For Peanut I went with just clothes, I mean, what else do you get for a baby?? He got a Dolphins outfit too, of course. Some really cute onesies and pants, the Auntie collection too (of course)

And I'm sure I am leaving things out, but pictures will show what I missed. I wasn't much into the Christmas spirit this year since I can't be "home" and I am still grieving the loss of my Mom :( But, shopping for them really brightened up my holidays. Thank you Boo & Peanut for making this season a little bit brighter.

Auntie Bee Loves you both!

Time to Say Good-bye

Which is my favorite Opera song, also applies to my life more than I think, sometimes.

There comes a time in your life when you outgrow things, your surrundings, friendships, lovers, family, career.


I believe I have reached that point in my life where I feel it necessary to move on. Cut my losses and pick up the pieces and go on. I can only put forth the effort for so long until it takes a toll on me. People always ask me why I continue to try when others would have just given up and walked away. My response is always the same "I want to know at the end of the day, I did everything I could." I want to know that when I walk away I gave that person every possible chance. I don't want to sell anyone short, let alone myself, and I am an all-or-nothing person, so when I am done. I am DONE. It applies to Friendship, Family, Relationships, sometimes its just time to let it go.

You can only put all of your heart & effort into something for so long until you grow tired of being the only one trying to make things work. I have a very kind heart, I believe in second changes (depending on the circumstances) but I do NOT believe in third and forth chances. Its the classic saying "Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice, shame on me"

I don't need closure, I've never been a "closure" type of person. I've never needed to be at someone else's mercy so I can move on. If you've never thought about it like that-you should. Isn't that how it is, You NEED someone to tell you something so you can move on. Such as: why a relationship failed, or an explanation of actions or of non-actions, an excuse, or even a reason. When you seek non-self closure you really are putting yourself at someone else's mercy, and for what? Closure isn't normally a "happy time" I don't believe it will make me a better person to hear what someone else has to say after ties have been severed. I do however believe in communication, through communication all things can be solved.

I seem to have one of those personalities that people are attracted to. Even when I've walked away people seem to come back. Its flattering at first, but those same old people bring back the same old issues. People never change, I honestly believe that. I believe we can grow into better versions of ourselves but we never change who we are. Why would we want to?

Life is about connection to me, as in the way I connect to people. The older I get the more I realize how important this is. I don't connect to everyone I meet the same, or sometimes, at all. I connect to different people on different levels. There are very few people that I have had an amazing connection with. Its hard to let go of those connections, but sometimes, its what is right.

I've always wanted to be a "better" person, and to me that is something I strive for, I'll never be "perfect" but I can always improve on things in my life. I know my limits and when to walk away with my head held high, those are qualities I learned from the greatest woman I've ever known, my Mother. Because of her I have the courage and strong-will to hold my head highly and walk away.

I Love Boots

I LOVE fall, and I do mean LOVE! Florida's fall is not exactly what I am used to since nothing changes colors or falls off-but I'll take the cooler weather. Oh and by cooler I still mean warm, the humidity dies down which is my favorite part of it, and its so beautiful outside all the time!

Fall means boots! Or-at least it does to me, I LOVE boots (yes, Just like I love fall) I just got back from a trip back home to Colorado and I was on the hunt for the "Perfect Boots" which I managed to find. They are black suede over-the-knee boots with a heel. They are absolutely gorgeous-except they hurt like hell to walk far in. I need to break them in a little bit more. I did come to find out I needed a pair of flats while I was home, so I ended up at payless the morning of the funeral buying a pair of black suede flat boots to get me through the day. They were $40 and I was a little hesitant that ANY boot at payless should be over $30 but none the less I needed them, I liked them and they had them in my size. I absolutely LOVE those flat boots, while they are not as "stylish" as my over-the-knee-boots, they are so comfortable!

Yesterday I went to payless again since it is Buy-One-Get-One half priced. I needed some black flats for work. I found my flats, they would be $8 wooooo! I also found the same boots I already had but in grey, I love grey, its the timeless classic. They had my size too, and now, they'd only be $20 with the BOGO, this means I need another pair of shoes to keep my work shoes at $8. I found a mid ankle black boot that would be cute with jeans. I need to start dressing up I thought to myself. I seem to have fallen into the "tennis shoe" phase of my life. Anyways, those ones were only $30 (what I think ALL boots there should be)

Went out to lunch with Roommie and went shopping with her, I found the cutest pair of black Madden Girl by Steve Madden ankle boots for $20 at ross, that never happens, I never find cute shoes there, and that are comfortable? Bonus! I wore them to work today to test them out. They passed, and look super cute with jeans!

So to recap it for all of you I now have 6 new pairs of boots for fall! All but one of them in black! hahahaha

Pep In Your Step

What is it, exactly about heels that gives you that extra little "umph" of confidence. Its like we have this form of "alter-ego" in us that emerges with each step-or at least that's how I feel. You feel more confident. Isn't that crazy, one pair of shoes can essentially change how you act or are perceived. I wouldn't go as far as to say "one pair of shoes will change your life" but I've heard that saying before,

I've noticed a lot of heels, I am a woman, I am naturally attracted to shoes, hand-bags and accesories, and also how they are worn in conjunction to the outfit. I've also seen the women who:
- Can't walk in heels
-Have TOO high of heels on
-Drunkenly are still walking in heels, but more so on the side of the shoe
-Wear stripper heels*


*Stripper heels are perfectly okay in the confined spaces known as Strip-Clubs, outside there, not so much

Have you ever noticed when you put on a pair of heels that you become an alter ego? If you didn't I bet the next time you put on a pair you'll surely think about it. I know I can't be the only one who steps into an "alter ego" when a pair of stilettos or boots in my case :)