Back To School!!!

Back To School!


Finally! I’ve made the plunge, well, in the process of taking the plunge! Getting my ducks in a row to start school. I’ve always wanted to go back and get my degree; I’ve always just lacked the drive to do so. What made me finally do it you ask? Well work has a pre-paid tuition program, which is free money for school. I figured I might as well take advantage of it while I can. I’ve never seen any employers that offer a pre-pay option. I’m jumping on it, that oh, and it makes me HAVE to stay at work, haha!

I took the first few steps already, I’ve applied to school, picked out my degree plan and now I just have to submit my classes to work, take a placement test and get my transcripts, which hopefully by the time I post this blog I already faxed it back to Colorado!!

I know I can do this, I’ve proven to myself I can do anything I set my mind to, hell, I moved 1800 miles way to start a new chapter of my life. I am a little worried with my time management, which if you’ve read any of my blogs you know I’m not such a Rock Star in that department, but hey-I’m working on it.

I always seem to get into the situations where I don’t have a choice on what to do; I just have to do it, since that is the only option. I am putting myself in this situation because I know I need it, I have the time, I don’t have to pay for it, and I don’t have anyone in my life that requires all or most of my time, so why not now?

I want to bust my ass and get my bachelors in 3 years. I have a plan (remember I need a plan, NEED.A.PLAN) I decided its best for me to break it up year by year, or more like 2 years by 2 years. Going for my Associates first, then going to transfer for my Bachelors. I like the “stepping stone” idea, that way if something happens 2 years in and I have to stop, at least I have that degree to build on. Although, I’m pretty confident that I am going to finish completely.

I mean, what’s 3 years? I look back now, and have no idea where the last 6 years of my life have gone. I feel like I’ve spent so much time focusing on everyone else, it’s my turn to focus on me, and do this for myself! Its not going to be easy and I sure wont have much time since I’ll be working full time and going to school full time, but if I can get it all done in 3 years then it’ll be worth it. I’ve come to grips with the fact I will have zero time for a life, ha!

I feel like I am finally ready to settle down with it and focus on it, this is what I want to do with the rest of my life and I need to put in the work to get it done. I decided on a Communications degree, hard choice and we all know I have commitment issues when it comes to big decisions (and hell, small ones too-look! I can’t even commit to what I am saying, ha!) I’ve been in the Communications field for the last 5 years; I seem to stick to it and most of the time I enjoy it.

I want to enjoy going to school and really want to do something in a field I enjoy and will enjoy. Nothing worse than spending time and money going to school to get a degree in a field I won’t use! Like all of those Psychology majors, While it’s an awesome program, what do you people plan on doing with your lives?

Do we really need a bunch of Psychologists? That field is flooded as is now, can you imagine in another 10 years? Eek! Seems like so many fields are over saturated, I’m hoping mine isn’t!


Wish me luck :)

Routines are so, uh, Routine??

These Days…

I can’t seem to manage my time! I went from having all the time in the world to working which means, not having enough time to complete my “to do list” for the day. On top of adjusting to my new schedule and lack of time management, I am going to try-scratch that, I am going to actually go back to school in the fall. Slightly scared since I can’t manage to accomplish my tasks now with just working full time. It’s a double edged sword, I need to go to school to get my degree but I have to give up my time to do it, which should be fine, I really don’t do much of anything out side of work these days anyways!

I’m sure it’s just an adjustment that I need to make, fall into my routine, which oddly enough, I’ve never been good at having a “routine.” I suppose it goes into the whole idea that I don’t always do the same thing each day at the same time. For example: Some mornings I eat breakfast at home, others I eat in the car, and the rest of the time I end up eating at work. I am just not a “routine” person, I wish I was for the sake of time management. I always try to plan out my time (in my head) and while it always works there, it never does when I try to apply it.

Case in point: I have this wonderful idea that since I work at 10am (soon to be 11 am) that I can get up earlier and start running and make a habit of it and get into a “routine” to do so. I feel if I do it every day I’ll feel accomplished. Which I think falls into my whole “commitment issue-saga” Anyhow, this never happens. I blame what I like to call the “Sleep Monster” I can get up let my pups out just fine, but then “Sleep Monster” takes over and I go back to bed until its time to get up and get ready.

I do however believe that the “Sleep Monster” and “Marshmellow Bed” might just be one in the same. That bed ROCKS! I sleep so well in it. Love. That. Bed.

So having a “routine” to me is the same as “vanilla ice cream” while it’s the “safe” choice and will always be there, it becomes mundane, oh, well that and I can’t ever get out of bed on time, therefor making a routine would make me late. I hate to be late, I hate when other people are late more so than if I am late, but still, it bothers me. I can see running late on occasion but, UGH! It especially bothers me when there is a deadline involved like a movie time, a play, dinner reservations or an airplane!! Times are not suggestive, at leaast I don’t find them to be.

Which leads me into another topic: Plans! I have to have a plan, I mean I HAVE TO HAVE a plan. I can’t always remember being this way, and don’t get it twisted, I am still carefree and up for whatever and can go with the flow, easy going type of gal, you know? But I’ve realised when it comes to other people plans are a definite must have for me. I never have to have a plan for myself as to what I am going to do on a “leisurly” day, but if it involves another person or several, I need a plan, times, places, ect. Because, I’ve found it’s really hard to people to keep their word and relying on others gets old very quick. More times than not I’ve had “plans” and things happen, I get that, but when it’s the same people all the time, you tend to get a good sense of how reliable or not so reliable they are.

Chalk-Walk!

I've been wanting to check out a "Chalk-Walk" for quite some time now. There just happened to be one going on in Hyde Park, which is this historic district of Tampa. It is very cute, reminds me a lot of the neighborhoods in Denver. I like to be reminded of home <3 It was hot out, its Florida, its always hot out!

I am amazed at how well an artist can transform a canvas, even if its not an actual "canvas" It was a beautiful thing to take in, they had areas for the kiddos to draw on the side walk as well. Well on to the show, here are a few shots I liked!

                  


There was a grey hound rescue too, they looked hot, I snapped a picture of one of the dogs, and then came across a puppy at a vendor tent who was too cute to not play with. He is 10 weeks old and was wearing a Ray's hat. It was almost impossible to get him to wear it right, so he now looks like french puppy, Still adorable

                                     

Get Low...Get Low??

I think it’s time for a new bed frame, I bought a new bed back in November and I am still very pleased with it. In fact, I struggle to get out of it since it is so comfy. It's been named the "Marshmallow Bed" and from that name, who would even want to get out of it?

The bed frame I have is wood and the hinges need to be replaced and it’s not supporting the bed the way I would like it to. So it’s time to upgrade. I've always loved the headboards with the leather padding. They are so elegant! I don't want to pay $600 for a bed frame so I've been looking into my options.

What I am coming across is a bunch of platform beds. It’s like wild fire; they are ALL over the damn place. I don't want to roll out of bed I want to be up a significant amount higher, plus I really love storing my shoes under my bed. I have a mattress and a box spring, platform beds are mattress only! Who likes sleeping that low to the floor? Do you feel more aero dynamic while you're down there? If that is the case I suggest you get a race-car bed, at least that way, you can FEEL like you are getting the whole experience.

TheFriend (from previous blogs) wants one, I don't get it, and he is a big guy. I suppose it likes the look of it, but wouldn't it suck to struggle to get up and physically out of bed? Or is that just me?

Tyler said he could build me a frame for a significant amount less, but I don't know if he'll be able to get the design I want. There is no doubt he's talented with his hands and quite the handy man around his house. He built Heather a beautiful deck. But all of the head boards I like have some intricate design.

I’ve looked on craigslist, I found this really intricate headboard but it’s pricy, and it’s just the head board.  I have also checked online at the furniture stores here and nothing really catches my eye. Checked overstock too, since shipping is $2.95 and I hate to pay shipping on anything. I found a few I like, but they’re brown leather,  I favor black & they’re about the $500 range again. Ugh!!

Tunes!

Side Note: Brooke read Tunes not Tones K?

 I love music, I always have but I think I appreciate it more as I go through different things in my life. I am always open to new things, new styles and I really love when I can relate to the song or it fits that moment in my life. It’s amazing how that happens, the moment you're happy, sad, alone, excited, whatever it is, and the perfect song comes on the radio it just fits, you know?

 I’ve been through a lot and I am not ready to put it out there for the world to read. But I will tell you that I feel I heal sometimes even if it’s just a little bit from a song. Isn't that amazing? Words that are written can touch you so much. Relate to your life, define your best/worst moments and let you have an outlet for whatever you need it for. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, sometimes I scream the lyrics as loud as I can. It’s all just a part of my heart trying to find a way to heal.

 It really is a big part of who I am. I bought a painting in the beginning of the year while in Vegas. It is four guitars, it is beautiful and it spoke to me. I do not play guitar, although I do have the desire to learn. But I am touched by music and wanted to appreciate this beautiful piece of art in my home. It reminds me that someone out there understands me, my feelings, and my thoughts and expressed themselves through music. That right there is just beautiful to me.

This all came to me tonight, as I was watching my DVR'd One Tree Hill, which I love that show...go ahead and laugh that I watch it, I'll wait. Done? K, they have some great music on it. I always find myself going to the website and checking who it was. Most of the time its people I've never heard of, but I like that one song so I check out the whole album. I don't want to miss out on anything in life, and exploring music is a BIG realm!

I was just telling Brooke today after our work out we need to go to the Dueling Piano bar in Tampa, Howl At The Moon. I went in Orlando a few weeks ago and I love it. There is a place in Denver, Sing Sing, that I just love too. I love live music and there isn't anything better than some good friends, drinks and some great live music.

  I find that now I am a Music junkie, I blame Rebecca & Justin; ever since I went to Texas and was sent home with some 40 gigs of music...it just started the process! My poor little 30 gig iPod is overloaded. Thanks guys!

 

Commitment Issues

I think I have commitment issues. How funny is that statement? I can’t even commit to admitting I have commitment issues?

I don’t mean relationships, I don’t seem to have a problem committing to the wrong men at all and I am a pro at that  I have however backed off from dating for the time being so I can actually focus on what it is I want. That being said, if something comes up such as it does in life, I’ll roll with it from there. I know what I want in the long-run, but I’m not in a rush to get there.
I have an issue committing to a career, a life style adjustment, goals, routines, ECT. Clearly, it must be fear, right? I mean, why else are people afraid to commit? I feel like I can’t finish anything I start to do!

I don’t know what I want to do with my life; I am now 26 and feel like I should have a clue. I do not! I want to make a difference in people’s life, or at least at this point that is what I want. I want some sort of satisfaction out of a career. I’ve thought about being a police officer, but when it comes down to it, I just don’t think I am tough enough for that. No matter what I do, it requires me to go back to school. Which I’ve put off for the last eight years because I didn’t want to waste time and money since I didn’t have any idea what I wanted to go for.

With all I’ve been through I’ve always considered being a nurse. I worry that I will be desensitized to people and emotion after time. They deal with so much in the course of their careers; I don’t want to have that take a toll on the person I am. I do however want to make a difference and help people; it might be a way for me to heal a little bit more. Again, I am just not sure. It’s at least a two year commitment to schooling so I want to make SURE that this is what I want to do.

I’d like to actually start something and finish it, whatever it might be, even if it’s just something simple. I don’t know if I just get bored or if I get too busy starting other new things that the previous things get swept under the rug.
I have a lot of books that I’ve wanted to read and I keep putting them on the shelf. They aren’t going to read themselves, right? There are several I need to read, for my own well being on how to cope with the things I am going through. Or the ones that make me believe in love stories, or photography books to expand my knowledge to become a better photographer. Reading more is definitely on my list of things to do and complete.

I want to be happy in life, love & whatever else I do. I don’t feel happy. I am not happy with certain aspects of myself and I really need to commit to making a change. I would love to eat healthier and get back in shape. I feel like if I changed that aspect of myself I would be happier. I think about it all the time, I start changing my lifestyle and before I know it I am back at square one.

I know I am the only one that can make any self-improvements and it starts with me. That being said, Brooke and I have vowed to start an intense workout routine. There is a gym by her place that has a great personal trainer, he’s very cost efficient and is there six days a week. I want to feel better; I want to look better, for myself. Of course I was told “If someone loves you, they love you the way you are” and while I agree, I’m not sure I love me. I love the person I am, but I don’t love how I look.

So, back on track….We are starting tonight. I want to try to make it six days a week for at least two months. I know I can’t commit to that right away with my issues. I am going to commit to it one week at a time. I like the feeling I get from working out, the issue is the next day when I am sore I give my body too much “recovery time” and end up not going back. Or I don’t see the results soon enough. I don’t have the issue putting in the work, I just like the instant satisfaction. Which of course you don’t get right away with working out! I figured if Brooke and I have each other it will be easier to have someone else motivate me as well.

Hell, I might even start another blog on my progress! I’m going to try to work out my life, one commitment issue at a time. Work out here I come 

The Frightmare Update!

Which is what I've named the Lightning, Friend of mine called it the "Frightning" since he thinks its fast. I call it a Nightmare since it is, and together you get "Frightmare" If it’s not one thing with this damn truck it is another. It's been down now for a month or so, I need ANOTHER new intercooler pump since my new one (replaced in January) is now shot.

Ugh, the "idea" of having a 600+ rwhp truck is far more satisfying than actually having a 600+ rwhp truck.

I missed a race day that I pre-paid for since the truck isn't cooling which in turn is taking the timing out of my truck. For you non-car related people that is bad news and can lead to bad things, including a blown motor. I really don't want to sink money into a motor so I have to baby it.

I ordered a new pump 4/5 and it is still back ordered, I need to cancel the order and order it from another company who has it in stock so I can at least enjoy my Frightmare a little bit. I ordered a marine-style pump since it flows more water to the heat exchanger.

The bad news is that when I took it to the shop in January they told me they replaced all the lines from the reservoir in the truck bed to the heat exchanger. Yea, not so much, they replaced it to the pump and the rest is all old tubing. This is causing problems too since its looping and running through old hoses. The other issue is the reservoir holds less than a gallon of water, and if it drops below maybe two inches in the tank, I will get air in my system which is causing the pump to fail. Since this truck was built a few years back, the technology and everything has changed, there are now better reservoir tanks, or modded fuel cells to hold more water. There are better hose options & pump options.

I know it’s a minor thing, and could be way worse; the shop has gotten wind that I am upset and called to see how they could rectify the issue. I haven't called them back since I am still waiting on parts and had company in town for the last two weeks. I'm a sitting suck until I can at least get my hands on a pump. I do need to call the shop and express my concerns since I don't feel I got what I paid for.

I paid to have my gauges put in, truck to be tuned, new fuel pumps (2) new hoses & new intercooler pump. My gauges weren’t installed correctly, I am missing a boost sensor, and my fuel pressure isn't reading correctly. The power wasn't run to the gauge so it wasn't even reading fuel pressure. I am replacing another pump due to several reasons, but I am upset the hoses weren’t replaced from the heat exchanger back to the pump! Grrrrr.

I just have no desire to to anything to it right now, I ordered new black grilles for it, I haven't put them in yet since it has other issues.

This thing better run like a champ for a long time, or it needs to find itself a new home!

I find it funny I tag this as "I Wanna Go Fast" because I do, but apparently the "Frightmare" has other intentions!