I've Come To Realise

Taken off a facebook note, Didn't feel like posting it there, So here it is..


1. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking...That life is short, I've loved, lost and learned alot. I want to LIVE each day and make the best of it. My heart is broken, and I am a broken person, and everyone I've lost has a piece of me, of my heart, and I will always love them. <3
2. I've come to realize that my job...What Job? I live the life of a retired person in Florida..for the time being, Taking time off while I can to heal.
3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...I think quite a bit these days while I'm driving. Hence why I started blogging, these random & not so random thoughts need to go somewhere.
4. I've come to realize that I need....Time..time to heal, time to think, time to take it in, time to process things, time to be alone, time to be me, Just time!
5. I've come to realize that I have lost...The few people that made me who I am. The people I loved THE MOST in my life.
The greatest person in my life, My Mother. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, have converstations in my mind with her, and wish she was with me, physcially instead of spiritually. I love you mommy <3
My Soul Mate- James. Words can't express the pain and sorrow I feel, 3 years later, it was supposed to be us-forever.
The one I could count on- Grandpa, No matter what issue I had, school, car related, life- He was there. With all of the things in my life, I could use a friendly shoulder to lean on.
6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...People can't understand what you're going through, and tell you it'll get better-it won't and sometimes thats the way it has to be. Or when people tell you how strong you are. For me, its not a choice, I didn't choose this, I only have myself to get me through things.
7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk...I am a ton if fun, granted I'm always fun.
8. I've come to realize that money...Comes and goes, and I try to make the best of it when I have it, goes into the whole "Living for Today" motto I've addopted.
9. I've come to realize that certain people...Will always be there for you when you need them, and even when you don't. The people that matter will sick around in your life, and the flakes will fall out over time, or a life changing event. Thank you to those of you who matter in my life <3
10. I've come to realize that I'll always ...be greatful for the life my mother gave me, the way she raised me and the beliefs she instilled in me, I am after all, just like her, for that, I am forever in debt to her.
11. I've come to realize that my sibling...would have been great to have at this time. both of them :(
12. I've come to realize that my mom...Will forever watch over me, guide me, and protect me, RIP Mommy,
13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...is something I don't leave the house with out. I love the Crackberry! also..its my choice to answer.. if I don't have your # programmed in my phone.. you can leave a message :)
14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...I was in beautiful new york with a great friend and my puppies and headed to the falls, today was a good day.
15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep...I was IN New York!!!
16. I've come to realize that my chest-size... Is what it is..and Momma gave it to me!
17. I've come to realize that my dad...Isn't a part of my life, It is a choice I have made to move foward and I stand by my choice.
18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...Its easier to stay in touch with those who aren't a part of my everyday-life.
19. I've come to realize that today...I saw one of the Seven Wonders of The World.
20. I've come to realize that tonight...No matter where in the world I am, I still hurt, I miss my Mommy so much.
21. I've come to realize that tomorrow...Is another adventure, off to another city to enjoy it!
22. I've come to realize that I really want to...Buy a Lightning & A Bike
Okay I took 23 out, it talked about reposting..its a blog damnit!
24. I've come to realize that life...Is short, days are numbered, there is no telling when we will go. Life goes on, but your heart never stops hurting from those that have been taken.
25. I've come to realize that this weekend...Will be spent out of town :)
26. I've come to realize that marriage...Is still something I want in my life, my later-life, Not ready to committ forever to anything right now. I still believe it to be "magical" with the right person, despite all that I've seen over the years!
27. I've come to realize that my friends...I hold close to my heart. I've finally got the "right" people in my life!
28. I've come to realize that this year...Just like the past 5, has been rocky..With the good, comes the worst :(
29. I've come to realize that my ex is...No longer my concern, and don't care to think about him :)
30. I've come to realize that maybe I should...Do whatever it is, I need to do to feel better.
31. I've come to realize that I love...My friends-the family I've chosen, My Alaska Family, My Puppies, Shadow, Florida!
32. I've come to realize that I don't understand...Why things happen, or why people act in certian ways.
33. I've come to realize my past...Has made me who I am, gave me alot of great memories and will be something I always look back to :)
34. I've come to realize that parties...Are fun :)
35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified...Of Death, Loosing the ones I love, Spiders, Snakes, Deer jumpin in front of the car,