Changes!

I woke up yesterday and decided it was time for a change. This is pretty much how my life works. Something pops in my head and I follow it out to the best of my abilities. Sometimes they are great ideas, some crazy, some near impossible, some short lived and some I am still perusing.

This specific change that came to mind yesterday is its time to let the Lightning go.

I've had it for 14 months now, and maybe MAYBE have driven it a total of 1,000 miles, which includes the 700 mile trip to bring it home. I have spent enough money getting it to run-and it does run right, now-finally. I am just tied of it sitting.

It was an impulse buy, I've wanted one for so long, got caught up with the Lightning guys back home, fell in love with these trucks years ago and always wanted one. Well I got one, was excited for a few months and then it kinda wore off.

Don't get me wrong I love the Lightning Community, some of the greatest car people I've ever met are Lightning owners. Even before I bought my truck they were all so friendly and helpful. Very welcoming, I can honestly say, there is not another greater group of Auto Enthusiast out there!

Now that my truck just sits, I don't really see the "need" for it, I don't have the desire to keep it. I am sure selling it will be tricky, to get what I want out of it and not take a total loss on it. But time will tell on it.

I know a lot of people are going to be sad, and not want to see it go. But its just time for me to move on, I don't want to replace it, I can honestly say I won't own another one. I wanted a 600+HP Truck and I got it, but I don't feel like I have the time for it. The meets are a blast to go to, but I can still do that with out actually having one.

I'm sure it goes deeper into my psyche- I'm never happy with anything I get. Funny & true, I thought I would be content with this for a while, but over the last 6-8 months I've really thought about putting it up for sale, I just hate the whole selling process. I am not in a rush to get rid of it. But I think having it sit around in a garage isn't what it was "built" to be, Someone needs to drive it, enjoy it, race it, romp around on it...that person just isn't me anymore. I do enjoy driving it and playing around with it, but I don't feel that "attachment" like I do to the Mustang.

I want a bike, I think I am at that point in my life where I crave change-well, that and I already have my motorcycle license, I've just been waiting for the "right time" to get one. I need to liquidate some of the cars I have now, before I add more. I am starting to be more practical and rational with my decisions, looks to be that I am growing up :)

Bottom line is it is a toy, and it is meant to be played with, and since I am not, it deserves more. I might miss the "Frightmare" later on, but now I think its time to let it go

As one Lightning owner leaves, a new one is welcomed. Its a beautiful circle :)

I Need an Intervention

This love for Boots has apparently exploded. I'd like to say I "can't" help it, but its more like I "don't want to" help it. Boots are cute, in style, very fall-ish. I am convinced I can wear them in summer-although truth be told its so hot here, you wear flip-flops, but at least I have the OPTION to wear them right? And come on, they will be in style next season, and the one after that, the one after that, and well now you get the point.

So, the "newest" additions are three beautiful pairs, if I do say so my self. I was out shopping for my Niece & Nephew and came across these tope Vera Wang boots, they remind me of motorcycle riding boots. They're edgy and flashy they have a bit of glam to them with a rhinestone like belt across the bottom. (Fear not- my fellow readers, I will post a picture of the line up)

Anyhow, while at the mall waiting for my Niece & Nephews stockings to get embroidered. They tell you to come back in thirty minuets, well what else do you do at the mall or thirty minuets??? You shop. I was on the hunt (yes-it really is a "hunt") for purple suede boots, but I can't ever seem to find them.

I did find a pair of purple flats, tried them on and too tight and of course they did not have the next size. I stumbled into Charlote Russe because Kendra always is sending me links to their boots-and she is like a hawk when it comes to that stuff. Ever have that friend? You mention to them something you're looking for and BAM they'll find it, or remember you mentioned it. <3 Her. Anyways, so I went in to look at the boots hoping they had purple, they did not. But it was Buy-One-Get-One-Half-Off. It doesn't hurt to look right? Well-except when looking turns into buying because, lets be honest, when does it not? Here's a bit of a back-story-I fell in love with these black, suede, over the knee, fold over boots, which you could convert to fold over and they tie off to the side, or wear the "flaps" over the knee. Kohl's had them, I found them in a 9.5 but I needed a 10, ugh, don't you hate that? I do! I had them look all over the US for them, called stores in other states my friends lived in, got Kendra the "hound/hawk" on it too. Nada. I was crushed. Well don't you know low-and-behold Charlotte Russe has the SAME boots, what? I was shocked, I did a triple-take. The heel was even the same size, which is nice, they're wear-able. AND they had the size I needed, I went with an 11 just to be on the safe side, SO excited that I found them, again. Although they're a little tight on the calf part, so I think they're legging/skirt only boots. Since it was BOGO I found these cute navy blue suede boots, the tops fold down and have a leather like texture to them. So cute & half off, I refused, to refuse. Although I did admit for the "intervention" right there at the register and I posted to Kendra on facebook "I need an intervention, as I am writing you I am in line at Charlotte Russe buying boots" Of course her prompt response was "I am a size 6" which is exactly the friends I need. Tell me not to buy boots, you will be removed from my circle of friends :) So, now lets review all of the boots I have. I like to call them "The Boots of Fall" Black Flat Suede Slouch-Payless Grey Flat Suede Slouch-Payless Black (low) Ankle Boots-Madden Girl Black Ankle Boots-Payless Brown Leather-ish Slouch-Kmart Black Suede Over-The-Knee-Sears Tope Calf "Riding"-Kohls Black 3-Way Suede-Charlotte RusseBlue Suede-Charlotte Russe Those are just the "additions" this season. I have a few in my closet too :)

Best Auntie EVER!

Yes, that is right, I am the BEST Auntie EVER, well to my Niece & Nephew that is :)

My Niece Caden is 19 months old and my Nephew is just barley over 1 month old. They live in Alaska with my Sister & her Husband. My Sister & Caden came out to Florida last August to spend some time with me, the timing couldn't be more needed, I was grieving and having that little baby girl and my Sister there, made it alright in those days to feel happy I went "home" last year because it was Caden's first Christmas and I had the time off. I wish I could make it back "home" this year for Parkers first Christmas.

It is crazy how much you can love a little one that isn't even yours. I love them both like they are mine. I know I will be in their lives forever, such a good feeling!

I always had to get Caden "Auntie" shirts, you know the ones that say, My Aunt is Awesome, My Aunt Rocks, All I want for Christmas is my Auntie. Well the tradition continues with Parker. I want them to know how much I love them, even if it is 2800 miles away!

I grew up an only child, and my Mom did SO much for me, that I want to be able to give that to someone, I'm not ready to be a Mommy yet, but I am ready to be an Auntie. I know they won't remember what I do for them now, but over the years they will be told, and I want a tradition to go with it. Like if every year I get them ornidements, or a Christmas movie, write them a letter. Something that I can keep consistent and fun.

Getting packages rock, no matter how old you are, but, being a kid and having a package come from someone else and have presents in it-that's one of the greatest things.

I just want to be the Aunt that I wish I had growing up, I want these kids to grow up and know that I am there for them, I care about them and love them so so much.

I know my Sister appreciates it, I am always thoughtful no matter what the occasion is. I'm sure she will do the same for me, when I have kids of my own.

Pics of course to follow, but I have to tell you (all of you) what I got them. Caden is my favorite to shop for, she's old enough to know what things are and to play with them. She LOVES Kitties, I call her Caden Kitty and then always say "Here Kitty Kitty" Even talking to her on the phone she lights up big huge smile and giggles. I got her a white kitty that looks real similar to her beloved "Taz" and you can pet the kitty and it purs, she is going to LOVE it!

I got her a "Big Sister" outfit, A Miami Dolphins outfit- Since my sister is a football fan they watch the Dolphin games too, Its a pink jersey, sooo cute. A few Auntie shirts, you know I have to remind them how awesome I am :)

More toys: A Tinkerbell play camera, tinkerbell play keys, Disney Princess bracelet set-which I am sure she is too young for but, its cute and I think she can handle it.

I did get both of them stockings-which I told my Sister NOT to get them stockings, with the exception of Peanut (Parker) because every baby needs a baby's first Christmas stocking. The stockings I got them are white and I got their names embroidered into them. I call Caden Boo & Parker Peanut, but I decided to leave it more of a timeless look. I just put "Caden" in red on hers and "Parker" in green in his. This way they can grow up with them and know Auntie Bee did this for them :)

For Peanut I went with just clothes, I mean, what else do you get for a baby?? He got a Dolphins outfit too, of course. Some really cute onesies and pants, the Auntie collection too (of course)

And I'm sure I am leaving things out, but pictures will show what I missed. I wasn't much into the Christmas spirit this year since I can't be "home" and I am still grieving the loss of my Mom :( But, shopping for them really brightened up my holidays. Thank you Boo & Peanut for making this season a little bit brighter.

Auntie Bee Loves you both!

Time to Say Good-bye

Which is my favorite Opera song, also applies to my life more than I think, sometimes.

There comes a time in your life when you outgrow things, your surrundings, friendships, lovers, family, career.


I believe I have reached that point in my life where I feel it necessary to move on. Cut my losses and pick up the pieces and go on. I can only put forth the effort for so long until it takes a toll on me. People always ask me why I continue to try when others would have just given up and walked away. My response is always the same "I want to know at the end of the day, I did everything I could." I want to know that when I walk away I gave that person every possible chance. I don't want to sell anyone short, let alone myself, and I am an all-or-nothing person, so when I am done. I am DONE. It applies to Friendship, Family, Relationships, sometimes its just time to let it go.

You can only put all of your heart & effort into something for so long until you grow tired of being the only one trying to make things work. I have a very kind heart, I believe in second changes (depending on the circumstances) but I do NOT believe in third and forth chances. Its the classic saying "Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice, shame on me"

I don't need closure, I've never been a "closure" type of person. I've never needed to be at someone else's mercy so I can move on. If you've never thought about it like that-you should. Isn't that how it is, You NEED someone to tell you something so you can move on. Such as: why a relationship failed, or an explanation of actions or of non-actions, an excuse, or even a reason. When you seek non-self closure you really are putting yourself at someone else's mercy, and for what? Closure isn't normally a "happy time" I don't believe it will make me a better person to hear what someone else has to say after ties have been severed. I do however believe in communication, through communication all things can be solved.

I seem to have one of those personalities that people are attracted to. Even when I've walked away people seem to come back. Its flattering at first, but those same old people bring back the same old issues. People never change, I honestly believe that. I believe we can grow into better versions of ourselves but we never change who we are. Why would we want to?

Life is about connection to me, as in the way I connect to people. The older I get the more I realize how important this is. I don't connect to everyone I meet the same, or sometimes, at all. I connect to different people on different levels. There are very few people that I have had an amazing connection with. Its hard to let go of those connections, but sometimes, its what is right.

I've always wanted to be a "better" person, and to me that is something I strive for, I'll never be "perfect" but I can always improve on things in my life. I know my limits and when to walk away with my head held high, those are qualities I learned from the greatest woman I've ever known, my Mother. Because of her I have the courage and strong-will to hold my head highly and walk away.

I Love Boots

I LOVE fall, and I do mean LOVE! Florida's fall is not exactly what I am used to since nothing changes colors or falls off-but I'll take the cooler weather. Oh and by cooler I still mean warm, the humidity dies down which is my favorite part of it, and its so beautiful outside all the time!

Fall means boots! Or-at least it does to me, I LOVE boots (yes, Just like I love fall) I just got back from a trip back home to Colorado and I was on the hunt for the "Perfect Boots" which I managed to find. They are black suede over-the-knee boots with a heel. They are absolutely gorgeous-except they hurt like hell to walk far in. I need to break them in a little bit more. I did come to find out I needed a pair of flats while I was home, so I ended up at payless the morning of the funeral buying a pair of black suede flat boots to get me through the day. They were $40 and I was a little hesitant that ANY boot at payless should be over $30 but none the less I needed them, I liked them and they had them in my size. I absolutely LOVE those flat boots, while they are not as "stylish" as my over-the-knee-boots, they are so comfortable!

Yesterday I went to payless again since it is Buy-One-Get-One half priced. I needed some black flats for work. I found my flats, they would be $8 wooooo! I also found the same boots I already had but in grey, I love grey, its the timeless classic. They had my size too, and now, they'd only be $20 with the BOGO, this means I need another pair of shoes to keep my work shoes at $8. I found a mid ankle black boot that would be cute with jeans. I need to start dressing up I thought to myself. I seem to have fallen into the "tennis shoe" phase of my life. Anyways, those ones were only $30 (what I think ALL boots there should be)

Went out to lunch with Roommie and went shopping with her, I found the cutest pair of black Madden Girl by Steve Madden ankle boots for $20 at ross, that never happens, I never find cute shoes there, and that are comfortable? Bonus! I wore them to work today to test them out. They passed, and look super cute with jeans!

So to recap it for all of you I now have 6 new pairs of boots for fall! All but one of them in black! hahahaha

Pep In Your Step

What is it, exactly about heels that gives you that extra little "umph" of confidence. Its like we have this form of "alter-ego" in us that emerges with each step-or at least that's how I feel. You feel more confident. Isn't that crazy, one pair of shoes can essentially change how you act or are perceived. I wouldn't go as far as to say "one pair of shoes will change your life" but I've heard that saying before,

I've noticed a lot of heels, I am a woman, I am naturally attracted to shoes, hand-bags and accesories, and also how they are worn in conjunction to the outfit. I've also seen the women who:
- Can't walk in heels
-Have TOO high of heels on
-Drunkenly are still walking in heels, but more so on the side of the shoe
-Wear stripper heels*


*Stripper heels are perfectly okay in the confined spaces known as Strip-Clubs, outside there, not so much

Have you ever noticed when you put on a pair of heels that you become an alter ego? If you didn't I bet the next time you put on a pair you'll surely think about it. I know I can't be the only one who steps into an "alter ego" when a pair of stilettos or boots in my case :)

Back To School!!!

Back To School!


Finally! I’ve made the plunge, well, in the process of taking the plunge! Getting my ducks in a row to start school. I’ve always wanted to go back and get my degree; I’ve always just lacked the drive to do so. What made me finally do it you ask? Well work has a pre-paid tuition program, which is free money for school. I figured I might as well take advantage of it while I can. I’ve never seen any employers that offer a pre-pay option. I’m jumping on it, that oh, and it makes me HAVE to stay at work, haha!

I took the first few steps already, I’ve applied to school, picked out my degree plan and now I just have to submit my classes to work, take a placement test and get my transcripts, which hopefully by the time I post this blog I already faxed it back to Colorado!!

I know I can do this, I’ve proven to myself I can do anything I set my mind to, hell, I moved 1800 miles way to start a new chapter of my life. I am a little worried with my time management, which if you’ve read any of my blogs you know I’m not such a Rock Star in that department, but hey-I’m working on it.

I always seem to get into the situations where I don’t have a choice on what to do; I just have to do it, since that is the only option. I am putting myself in this situation because I know I need it, I have the time, I don’t have to pay for it, and I don’t have anyone in my life that requires all or most of my time, so why not now?

I want to bust my ass and get my bachelors in 3 years. I have a plan (remember I need a plan, NEED.A.PLAN) I decided its best for me to break it up year by year, or more like 2 years by 2 years. Going for my Associates first, then going to transfer for my Bachelors. I like the “stepping stone” idea, that way if something happens 2 years in and I have to stop, at least I have that degree to build on. Although, I’m pretty confident that I am going to finish completely.

I mean, what’s 3 years? I look back now, and have no idea where the last 6 years of my life have gone. I feel like I’ve spent so much time focusing on everyone else, it’s my turn to focus on me, and do this for myself! Its not going to be easy and I sure wont have much time since I’ll be working full time and going to school full time, but if I can get it all done in 3 years then it’ll be worth it. I’ve come to grips with the fact I will have zero time for a life, ha!

I feel like I am finally ready to settle down with it and focus on it, this is what I want to do with the rest of my life and I need to put in the work to get it done. I decided on a Communications degree, hard choice and we all know I have commitment issues when it comes to big decisions (and hell, small ones too-look! I can’t even commit to what I am saying, ha!) I’ve been in the Communications field for the last 5 years; I seem to stick to it and most of the time I enjoy it.

I want to enjoy going to school and really want to do something in a field I enjoy and will enjoy. Nothing worse than spending time and money going to school to get a degree in a field I won’t use! Like all of those Psychology majors, While it’s an awesome program, what do you people plan on doing with your lives?

Do we really need a bunch of Psychologists? That field is flooded as is now, can you imagine in another 10 years? Eek! Seems like so many fields are over saturated, I’m hoping mine isn’t!


Wish me luck :)